What I Do to Combat Loneliness in College
Isabella Cannon
| 5 min read
When I imagined what life would be like in college, I never once considered I would be lonely. I had pictured an ideal movie montage in my head of staying up late, surrounded by friends and going to fun social events whenever I felt like it.
It wasn’t until the night before my first day of class in freshman year that the panic started to set in. Not only was I leaving the normalcy of high school behind, I also wasn’t living on campus. I knew it made sense to commute and save money, but the ideal picture of college I had in my mind suddenly crumpled into a million pieces.
Most of my childhood friends were leaving the state for college. I was going to a school I barely knew, with people I barely knew, and I wasn’t getting the same “full experience” as my peers. “How was I going to make friends? How am I going to do this alone?” I thought.
I’m here to tell you that even though college can be a hard adjustment, the experience is what you decide to make of it and not what anyone else or social media may tell you.
Now that I am going into my senior year, I feel as though I’ve been able to pick up some practical methods to combat loneliness in college. It starts with one simple truth: you are not the only one who feels the way you do.
Here are some helpful things I’ve done to get involved and combat loneliness in college:
Join a student organization
I know everyone says this, but I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to meet people outside of your classes at your college, especially as a commuter. Joining a student organization will allow you to meet people that have common interests. It may take trial and error to find a group you click with, but don’t give up. Student organizations are a great way to grow your connection with your college and fill your free time with fun, social, non-school related activities.
Serve in your local community
I decided to join an all-inclusive national service sorority at my school. They had a booth set up at our annual club fair in the fall of my freshman year, and the girls who invited me to join were so inviting. I felt relieved to know I was going to be a part of something bigger than myself. I had always loved serving but getting to participate in community service projects bonds you with others and helps you create meaningful memories. Even if you don’t join a community service-based club, find ways to volunteer in your local college town. It feels good to give back to others and is an emotionally rewarding activity.
Invite people to grab coffee and study together
Going into freshman year, I only knew two other women who were going to the same college as me. While introducing people from different circles can be scary, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Make a group chat, ask them to meet up, and grab lunch or coffee and study together. You may have different majors, hobbies, or interests, but you all go to the same school and are experiencing life changes at the same time. This shared experience is enough to have an enjoyable study date. If things go well, make it a weekly thing so you have something to look forward to.
Sit by someone new
Getting outside your comfort zone and asking to sit by someone in a common area or student center and striking up a conversation can make you feel less alone. Even if you are just saying hi between classes, it can make you feel more at home on campus. Approaching someone can be extremely overwhelming, but this isn’t middle school. Chances are the person you introduce yourself to is in the same boat as you and doesn’t know anyone else either. Be kind and see what happens.
Listen to music
For those days you aren’t feeling bold or social, listening to music on campus can be a great escape to cope with loneliness. Put your headphones on and take a walk around campus. Being outside and listening to my favorite songs always puts me in a good mood. If your college has a recreational building, consider making a work-out playlist and hitting the gym.
Journal
Your words are powerful. What you think and speak repeatedly to yourself can impact you. Journaling is a great resource to get all your thoughts and feelings out of your mind. I like to write in a prayer journal, but find what works for you. When loneliness starts to creep in, take a moment to acknowledge your feelings on paper. Once that’s done, I like to make a gratitude list of everything I am thankful for. It can be easy to get swept up in the “everything is terrible” train, but journaling allows you to cope with the negative while positively reflecting on what is true.
Stay Connected
I cannot stress the importance of setting up weekly check-ins with those you love. It’s important to be intentional about the relationships that existed before college. It may feel like you are all by yourself, but you still have a support system to tap into. Taking time to call, text, facetime, or write letters to your friends and family at home or away will help you keep the relationship going even while you are apart. Even a simple update like, “I passed my biology exam!” is something to share with others. As you start sharing, they will share in return.
Parting advice
I want to leave you with one last thing: do not compare your college experiences to others. Even if it looks like they are having the time of their lives and living it up on the outside, you never know who is struggling behind the scenes. You have the ability to shape your college experience and what you get from it. Remember there are people out there who love you and want the best for you. You’ve got this!
Image: Isabella Cannon
