How to Support a Family Member in Assisted Living
A Healthier Michigan
| 4 min read
Having a family member in assisted living can be difficult for everyone involved. People who move into assisted living can struggle with a loss of independence, leaving their home or fears of fewer family visits. Family members of those in assisted living may feel guilt, helplessness and concern.
According to the National Center for Assisted Living, there were more than 57,000 Michiganders in assisted living in 2020. Here are tips and suggestions for family members looking for ways to better support family in assisted living.
1. Do your research.
Learn about the assisted living center where your loved one lives. You should know the policies and services and know your loved one’s specific needs. For instance, some assisted living centers may allow small pets, while others do not. Some may provide transportation to senior centers, shopping and places of worship. Knowing what needs are being met through assisted living and which needs your family member may still need assistance with can help you better determine your role and how you can better support your loved one.
2. Help them make their space feel like home.
One of the hardest parts for many who are entering assisted living is the loss of their home. It can take a while for any new living arrangement to feel like home, but especially in communal living or a place that feels like a clinical environment. Learn what kinds of personal belongings and comforts are allowed and help them set up their space to their liking. Bring family photos or keepsakes. Make sure not to just choose things to bring on your own – communicate with them to determine what is missing that could help them feel more at home. Having social support while in assisted living has been shown to greatly help residents adapt.
3. Make regular visits.
It may not be possible to visit as often as you both would like, but creating a regular schedule is important. This can help dissuade the fears associated with wondering when the next visit may come and can add a sense of normalcy to the new arrangement. Make sure to choose a schedule that works for everyone. Just because someone is living in assisted living doesn’t mean they are always sitting around or doing nothing. Many assisted living centers have robust schedules, and your loved one may also keep their own schedule. Keep lines of communication open and visit them at a time and day that they would like to be visited.
4. Show up for important days and events.
Apart from regular visits, make notice of upcoming events or days that are important to your loved one. Birthdays and anniversaries, even of family members who have since passed, can potentially be lonely or difficult days for someone in assisted living. Maybe a hairdresser or nail artist is visiting the assisted living center, and your loved one would appreciate your presence during those visits. Some assisted living centers put on talent shows or performances that would be fun to attend together. Make sure to keep their schedule in mind when making visits and make extra visits on special days or for special events.
5. Get to know the assisted living staff and residents.
Getting to know the staff and medical professionals who spend time assisting your loved one shows that your care and respect their work and that their health, safety and comfort is important to you. Getting to know the people your loved one spends time with at the assisted living center can help you to better understand and support them in assisted living. Meaningful family member involvement in the care of a loved one in assisted living correlates with higher quality of life.
6. Respect their independence.
While seeking to support your loved one, make sure you don’t overstep. Respect their independence and the things they like to do for themselves if there isn’t a safety issue. Make sure you know what the assisted living policies are for checking out and going places with your loved one.
7. Take care of yourself. Consider emotional support through therapy or counseling.
Make sure to keep your own health in mind and be proactive about your emotional wellbeing. Being involved with a loved one’s assisted living can provide better outcomes for the loved one, while also resulting in negative health trends for the family members who are involved. Make sure you are eating and sleeping properly. There are therapists and counselors with experience navigating assisted living, and if needed, group counseling alongside your loved one may be appropriate or helpful in this new stage of life.
