Coping with Caregiving: How a Family Needs to Lean on Each Other for Support
Caroline Samuelsen
| 5 min read
Supporting a sick loved one is something that nothing can truly prepare a family for. It can be stressful enough going about your day-to-day life and trying to be supportive of each other, but when you add supporting a family member through illness, daily life activities can become more challenging. Figuring out how to best support yourself and your family members as you assume the role of caregivers is important for navigating this time.
Receiving Bad News
Caregivers usually remember the day that they found out that their life was going to change. When a loved done receives a diagnosis, it can seem like your world is over. I was 14 years old when I learned that my dad was diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer. Things like homework, high school drama, and clothing were no longer the center of my universe. At 14, I had to become an adult and support my dad who was going through chemotherapy, support my mom who was supporting him, and support my younger siblings who didn’t understand what was happening. Though I was not his direct caregiver, I had to assume a caregiver role in my own way which was unexpected.
Coping with your Position
After receiving the news that a loved one is sick and you are providing care for them, it can be hard to come to terms with your new role. Denial and disbelief can kick in as you start to wonder, “why me?” It is easy to be mad at the world for this happening, which is exactly how I felt. It took me awhile to accept that this was indeed happening, my dad was indeed sick. After a few months, I realized that it was a reality that I needed to come to terms with. If you are mad at the situation, do not let it create space between you and the loved one that you are caring for. That could be time that you wish you could have back someday.
How to Maintain a Sense of Normalcy
When caregiving for a sick family member, the last thing you feel is normal. However, attempting to bring normalcy into your home can help all the family members, caregivers, and patients alike. When my dad was sick, my family and I would plan movie nights together or formal sit-down dinners to share time together. We kept up on TV shows together so there was a set time weekly to sit down and spend time together. We also came up with new activities that we wouldn’t normally do like cooking a new recipe all together, doing a jigsaw puzzle, or going for a long walk. Focusing on family time can help everyone feel connected and bring a sense of normalcy to the time everyone shares together.
How to Care for Each Other and Avoid Burnout
Caregiver burnout is unfortunately very common, bringing added anxiety, exhaustion, and stress to caregivers. Caregiver burnout can present itself in many ways such as withdrawal from socializing, changes in sleep, changes in appetite, or feeling helpless. It is caused by feeling a lack of control, unrealistic expectations, role confusion, or unreasonable demands. There are a few ways to subside these feelings and help with your feelings of burnout.
Set Realistic Goals
You are not going to cure an illness, and that is OK. Set small, realistic goals for yourself every day such as, “I am going to make my loved one feel comfortable today,” or “I am going to go for a mile walk today.”
Be Realistic About What you are Caregiving For
Like setting realistic goals, know that there are a lot of illnesses and diseases that are not curable and it is not your responsibility to cure them. Know that there are going to be days where it is very challenging and some days that are easier.
Talk to a Professional
Seek assistance from a licensed therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. There are many professionals with a background in helping caregivers. They will have many tools unique to you to assist you.
Set Time Aside for Yourself
Being a caregiver can make it seem like your life is no longer yours, but it is. Your loved one who you are caring for will agree that you need to step aside every so often and take time for yourself. Go for a walk, journal, or catch up with a friend. You need to be feeling your best so you can help your loved one feel their best.
Find a Support Group
As much as it may feel like it, you are not alone. There are many other caregivers who could be feeling very similar emotions. There are support groups for that very topic in your area where you can discuss how you feel with people going through the same process as you.
Educate Yourself
Research more into the illness that you are caring for. When you know what you are dealing with, you will feel more in control and powerful as a caregiver. The feeling of not being enough can drive the burnout so tell those feelings that they are wrong by reading up.
Focus on Your Health
Your health needs to be good so that you can be there for your loved one. Focus on healthy eating and exercising so you are feeling your best. When feeling run down and sick, you won’t have the same strength and energy to care for your loved one.
